This is hard

So since my last amazing blog when I ran for a full 20 minutes I think my mind and body are talking to each other without me knowing and seem to have decided that that's it cracked and I don't need to bother anymore, as I've not been able to sustain anywhere near that long a run since.

I've decided to like myself to a baby starting to walk - you know one day they can all of a sudden walk clear across the front room but the next day you think it had to have been a fluke as they won't try it again?

Well that's me, I'm back to crawling everywhere.

It's such a mental challenge.  You have a bad run and it's so easy to think, that's it, this isn't for me, why do I bother?  It's hard, it hurts, I'm not a runner and I never will be.  I've had so many days when I could just cry at how little I'm progressing.

But then someone very wise told me, you never regret a run, even a bad one. You only regret the days you don't bother running at all.

And that's so true.

It doesn't matter if I'm progressing very slowly as long as I'm still progressing.  It doesn't matter if it takes me 2 years to complete a 9 week programme as long as I get there.  And then again even if I never get there what does that matter actually?  I'm somewhere I never thought I'd be back in September when I started this running malarky and that counts for something, that counts for a lot.

So I'm running week 4 on the podcasts again and I'm just going to stick with them for a while, sort my breathing out, get my actual technique sharpened up and then I'll think about trying the 20minute run again.

And if I have to stick at week 4, then a week 4 runner I am but that's still a runner!

It's been a while but...

Today I ran for a full 20 minutes!!

I'm still on a high, I feel amazing :)

It's been a long couple of months since I last posted.  Since then we've had Christmas and I've had a houseful of sick people, myself included.  I have been running as an when I could between then and now but not getting anywhere fast and I was really disappointing myself as I just couldn't get back into a routine and when I did, I just didn't have the energy to run.

But a couple of weeks ago, everything clicked back into place.  I went back to the week 3 podcasts and built back up again.  On wednesday this week I set out in the pouring rain and high winds to do my 2 x 8 minute runs, did one, did half of the other and literally couldn't move any further as the wind kept blowing me back.  I ended up calling my husband sobbing asking him to come and pick me up in the car - which bless him he did.

Then today I was determined to get the scary 20 minute run over and done with.

Sods law it started raining the minute I went out but with my face hidden beneath my buff (Christmas present from my husband) I soldiered on.   Starting with the usual 5minute warm up walk (isn't it odd how that first 5 minutes takes no time at all but once you're running 5 minutes actually takes forever) and then it was Go!
I was quite surprised really when the first 10 minutes had passed and I didn't feel like I was going to keel over.  Then I got to 15minutes and I was beginning to falter, I slowed right down - honestly a baby could have crawled faster - but I kept going.   And then suddenly I only had 2 minutes left, I actually could do it.

And I did and to repeat myself,  I feel amazing !!

Just a few months ago I couldn't run from one lamp post to the other (seriously) and now I can run a mile and a half non stop !!

Yay Me!